Are You On A Diet And Don’t Even Know It?

Learn the subtle ways that you might be dieting and why this could be a problem.

**Disclaimer: Please note that the information in this or any other blog posts on this site may not be suitable or apply to you, depending on where you’re at in your mental health and/or eating disorder/diet recovery journey. This information is for educational purposes only and not meant to be a substitute for medical or psychiatric advice. Please consult your healthcare practitioner before making any changes. See full disclaimer here.

Though diet culture is deeply embedded in our society and is not going away anytime soon, I’m finding more and more people are at least recognizing that short-term, quick-fix weight loss diets don’t work and can actually be more harmful for your health than not dieting. And can understand at some level, that very restrictive diet programs, full of food rules, like drinking shakes all day or cutting out complete food groups is not sustainable or enjoyable.
This is fantastic!

BUT… and this is a big BUT....

BUT, the problem I’m seeing is that even if people are not following a specific diet and truly believe that they are not on a diet, they will often still hold certain beliefs about food or follow certain food rules that exhibit as dieting-like behaviours. In other words, how they eat doesn’t fall under any specific diet name, but they still eat as if they are on a diet. Think of it like pseudo-dieting. [FYI, The terms “diet” and “dieting” for the sake of this post means restricting or controlling the way you eat for the main purpose of weight loss or weight management].

For example, do any of these thoughts sound familiar?

• “I couldn’t cut out carbs completely, but I’m not eating pasta or bread, because it’s fattening.”
• “I was good today, I only had a salad at lunch.”
• “Don’t let me near those brownies, I’ll eat all of them!”
• “I was bad all weekend. I should skip breakfast today.”
• “Let’s order pizza and wings tonight because we deserve it!”

Either you or someone you know has said or have had these thoughts (or something like them) at some point in time (including myself). I can guarantee. Unfortunately thoughts and statements like these have become so normal in our everyday experience, that it might be hard to even see them as problematic. And even if you’re not “on a diet” you most likely accumulated some rules about food from what you hear in the media or from your friend who’s on a diet, whether you’re aware of it or not.

And food rules are usually about labeling certain foods or food groups as “good” and “bad”, or “healthy” and “not healthy” - in relation to weight management, thereby moralizing food and weight. And therein lies the problem. How we think and talk about food has become a moral issue.

Whether you’re actively dieting or not, it’s very hard not to be influenced by diet culture and the messages about what foods you “should” or “shouldn’t” eat.

I see it All. The. Time.

It almost feels like there’s a food god watching from above, judging your every move. Every kale smoothie gets you closer to your angel wings. And every bite of cheesecake is a dance with the devil. But there is no food god. It’s that the moralization of food has been so deeply internalized, it may seem impossible to talk or think about food any other way.  

You might ask, but what’s so wrong with labeling foods as “good” and “bad”, or “healthy” and “unhealthy”? Or even labeling certain foods as “treats” for being “good”? Humans love to label and categorize as it helps us sort out information and make informed choices, right?

​Yes, there is a place for labeling and categorizing information. BUT I don’t think it’s with food. Especially when this labeling is happening on top of mis-information. Twenty years ago fat was what caused weight gain and was considered “bad”, and now the same things are said about carbs. Vegetarians will tell you that consuming meat is bad for your health. And the Paleo crowd will say that not consuming meat is bad for your health. Is your head spinning yet?? 

With so much contradictory and confusing nutrition information out there, you can see how easy it can be to start accumulating a mental book of food rules without even knowing it. OK, maybe you’re thinking, but pretty much everyone can agree that sugar is the most sinful and addictive of substances, right? Well actually, there’s compelling arguments that sugar is not actually addictive and can be a part of a healthful and nourishing diet.  

Am I saying that you should just go eat all the cake and donuts all the time? No, definitely not. There is a still a place for nutrition science in a non-diet approach to health. And am I saying that being a vegetarian or following a paleo diet is bad? No. You can eat whatever makes you feel good. 

What I’m suggesting is to get rid of the good/bad, healthy/unhealthy, reward/punishment dichotomy about food. ALL FOOD. Whatever foods you choose to eat. Because this perpetuates dieting-like thinking and behaviours. And it also perpetuates fat-phobia and fat-stigma that is all part of diet culture.

Every time you say you’ve been “good” you may make someone else feel bad about themselves or their body. Or every time you eat something you label “bad” you will most likely feel bad about it too. And there’s no reason to feel guilty or ashamed about what you eat. You didn’t do anything wrong. What you eat has nothing to do with your moral character as a person. Likewise, if you eat something “good” it doesn’t make you a better person than the one who ate something “bad”.

The messages and thoughts we say to ourselves can have an impact on our behaviour too. For example, using one of the statements above, imagine you say to yourself,

“Don’t let me near those brownies, I’ll eat all of them!”

This implies that you believe brownies are “bad” and that you have no control over how much you consume. This also implies that you most likely restrict how often you eat brownies or “bad” foods. This feeling of restriction or lack of control with certain foods, will most likely lead you to overeat or possibly binge on those foods if the occasion arises. Because you believe you won’t be able to eat them ever again or you “shouldn’t” eat them ever again. Because you've labelled them as "bad". And this cycle can repeat, in subtle or not-so-subtle ways.

Now imagine instead, you say to yourself,

“Those brownies look really good. I think I’ll have one. And if I want another one I can. Or maybe I’ll save one for tomorrow because I know I can eat brownies whenever I want.”

Do you think this thought will lead to overeating or feelings of guilt? Probably not. You’ll most likely enjoy the brownies more, feel more satisfied with one or two, and then move on with your day without the guilt or stress.   

How to change your thoughts and beliefs about food is more than I can write in one blog post. But it starts with first recognizing how you’re talking and thinking about food. Here are some questions to help you become more aware of whether or not you may be pseudo-dieting:

• Are there certain foods or food groups you think of as “good” or “bad”?
• Do you categorize your day as “good” or “bad” food days?
• Does you count calories, or grams of macros, or points?
• Are there foods that you find hard to stop eating once you start and believe you’re “addicted” to, or that you lack control around?
• Do you eat foods you don’t really like or that don’t satisfy you, like “diet” foods, in hopes to manage or lose weight?
• Do you ignore your hunger signals or do things that will disrupt your hunger signals, i.e. drink caffeine, drink lots of water, chew gum, to intentionally eat less calories.
• Are you afraid of your hunger and tend to ignore it, trying to eat less calories overall?
• Do you under-eat all day and then feel like you can’t stop snacking at night?
• Do you worry about eating all the “right” foods for your health?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, you may be on a diet and not even know it. And these thoughts and behaviours may be causing unnecessary stress or guilt. 

Now, I always say, if it’s working for you then keep doing what’s working. It is not my place to tell you what to do or not do. Or to know if you need to change anything at all.

But if this blog post resonated with you, I invite you to start looking at the way you think and talk about food. Notice how often the good/bad, healthy/unhealthy, reward/punishment dichotomies show up. And ask yourself, is thinking this way about food helping or harming you? What would getting rid of these dichotomies look like to you? And how would that impact your day to day life differently?

To help you imagine what it's like to not be on a diet, you might want to read this post. 
You might also like to read my series on Intuitive Eating which goes into detail on how to get out of the diet trap and to make peace with food, starting here.​

Are you struggling with eating and body image concerns?
​Learn more about my psychotherapy & counselling services, and how I can help you here.

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