What Does NOT Being On A Diet Look Like?

WHAT DOES NOT BEING ON A DIET LOOK LIKE?

2/24/2019

Learn what it means to not obsess about food and eat normally.

WRITTEN BY DANIELLE LITHWICK, MA, RP

Diet talk and food rules have become so normalized in everyday life, it might be hard to imagine what it actually means to eat “normally”. And what eating “normally” means to you may be different than what it means to me or someone else. However, there is a wonderfully comprehensive definition out there that I think many people can relate to and that I’d like to share with you here. It’s none other than, the infamous quote from Ellyn Satter, an international authority on eating and feeding practices, called “What Is Normal Eating?” :

Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied.
It is being able to choose food you enjoy and eat it and truly get enough of it – not just stop eating because you think you should.
Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food.
Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good.
Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way.
It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful.
Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more.
Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating.
Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.
In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.

Let’s break down each line and explore a little more.

"Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied."
Hunger is not something to be afraid of. It’s your body’s way of telling you that you need to eat. Problems can happen if you ignore or don’t respect your hunger signals. Eating until satisfied can mean eating until you’re physically and/or mentally content. If you’re still thinking about food soon after you’ve eaten, you have not eaten until satisfied.

“It is being able to choose food you enjoy and eat it and truly get enough of it – not just stop eating because you think you should.”
Again, if you are left still hungry, craving or thinking about food soon after a meal, you have not eaten enough or to your satisfaction. You might feel full but not satisfied. Maybe you ate a large salad, but really just wanted a sandwich. So even though you’re physically full, you’re not mentally satisfied, because now you’re just thinking of the sandwich. So this is about getting your personal preferences and needs met, instead of having some external rules dictating what or how much you eat.

“Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food.”
This acknowledges that even though there are no “good” or “bad” foods, there are foods that may be more nutritious than others and that there's still a place for making nutrition-informed choices in a non-diet mentality. Educating yourself on some nutrition basics can help you make empowered choices about food. It’s just when being nutrition-informed becomes nutrition-obsessed that it can be problematic and exacerbate the dieting mentality and rigid food rules.

“Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good.”
Eating for emotional reasons is generally touted as “bad” behaviour in the dieting world. But eating for emotional reasons sometimes, does not have to be bad and is actually quite normal. Let’s stop denying that food is comfort and just acknowledge that eating and emotions are often intertwined - and that’s OK. What can be a problem is when someone is using food as their only emotional coping tool. It’s good to have a wide variety of ways to deal with emotions, and food is totally allowed to be one of them sometimes.

“Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way.”
There is no magic number of meals to eat during the day that is optimal for everyone. Some people feel great with three meals and two snacks, or three square meals, or two bigger meals, or six mini meals. The most important thing is that you’re doing what works for you and eating enough to nourish yourself. Who cares what the latest diet trend is saying.

“It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful.” This touches on the idea of giving yourself unconditional permission to eat all foods. Not just on “cheat” days or the night before you start your next diet.
ALL. THE. TIME. If you truly believe that you can eat a cookie whenever you want (and leave the guilt behind), you will be able to eat just one, or choose to have another one. But either way, you will be in control of what and how much you eat, NOT the diet-y, guilt-laden thoughts.

“Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more.”
Most of the time you want to listen and respect your hunger and fullness signals. But sometimes, it’s OK not to. Having a second helping at Thanksgiving dinner, eating a piece of birthday cake even though you’re not hungry, or not being able to eat a full breakfast because you were running late- can all also be part of what normal eating is. Normal eating is not about perfection. It’s listening to what your body needs at any given moment as well as adapting to the ebbs and flows of life.

“Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating."
Sometimes we can make “mistakes” in eating- like over-doing it and then feeling physically uncomfortable. Or forgetting to eat all day and then raiding your whole fridge at night. Though I’d prefer not to think of these as “mistakes”, but more like “learning experiences”. The more you can tune into what your body needs and wants and how much food to eat, the less likely you will make these “mistakes”. But if you do, it can be an opportunity to learn from it and try to tune into your body more next time. Practicing self-compassion during these learning experiences can bring you much closer to normal eating than beating yourself up.

"Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.”
Eating is no doubt important and a big part of life. Food gives you energy, pleasure and comfort. It also brings you closer together with others, in celebration and in loss. But it should not take over your life, cause stress or harm. Allow eating and food to be one of many positive forces in your life.

“In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.”
The key word here is “flexible”. And it doesn’t mean being “flexible” in that sometimes you “break” the rules. No, flexible means there are no rules. Even though I love this definition of normal eating and truly believe it can apply to anyone, it is not dogma. This is not another set of rules. It is suggestions of what normal eating can mean and what it can look like to not be on a diet. To not stress about food rules and to get out of black and white thinking with regards to what you eat.

To sum up, NOT being on a diet, or "normal" eating is: Eating what you need, eating what you want, and taking the time to enjoy your food, most of the time, and then getting on with your life.

So how do you actually get to a place of normal eating?

If you’ve been entrenched in dieting or disordered eating behaviours for a long time, it might seem impossible to imagine what normal eating looks for you. But it is possible. And if you have any stress or hang ups about food that is negatively impacting your life, you deserve to learn how to eat normally. To feel nourished and satisfied when you eat- not deprived or anxious or fearful.

Though not always an easy feat, there are many ways to end destructive dieting behaviours and to learn to eat normally again. I’m biased towards the research-based model called Intuitive Eating, from world-renowned dietitians and authors, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. This is the non-diet frame-work I often use with my therapy clients along with other therapeutic modalities, as it is what helped me recover, and many, many others make peace with food and their bodies. These principles actually teach you all the ways to eat normally again and leave the dieting and guilt about food behind. Learn more about it here. **Please note that Intuitive Eating can be a part of eating disorder recovery, but may not be suitable at all times, depending on the severity of the disorder.

Until then, I hope this gave you more food for thought (pun totally intended) about what normal eating and non-dieting behaviour can look like.

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